hard day

by Michael Fagans | Aug 29, 2020 | Blog

I am not going to lie, today was a hard day.

Athletes from our school’s team have been my students and I suspect I will have them in my classroom in the future.

One of the smartest and wisest of these scholars got to the center of an incident involving racism and misogyny with one clear statement, ‘I am most concerned for those two young women.’

One of the funniest projects from the last academic year was created by another athlete. Pure Mississippi storytelling involving a midnight run to the convenience store. Genius. And funny, and true, and poignant. And it had a rhyming scheme all of its own.

And yet……

Today they marched.

They took time from the field to let their voices be heard.

I was and still am proud of them.

And yet, they faced men in uniform enforcing the law. Not unlike others who have come before.

‘We will let y’all have your moment and then things will return to “normal,”‘ seems to be implied. Whatever normal is in these times.

Just in case you need the reminder, this happened on the 57th Anniversary of the March on Washington as well as the 65th anniversary of Emmett Till’s death. As William Faulkner reminds us, ‘The past is never dead. It’s not even past.’

I spoke with some assistant coaches.

I thanked players quietly.

I documented.

At the end of the day I don’t understand the mindset that will cheer these young men on in a stadium and then deny them their humanity in the rest of their lives.

These are the same faces I see in photographs of the integration of the University of Mississippi. These are the same faces I see twisted in anger around a lunch counter. These are the same faces I see enforcing the law in other times.

And yet our students and fellow citizens keep repeating, “I am a Man.”

And yet, their demand. Their statement. Their claim. Their call for justice falls into a void of silence.

I keep coming back here. I keep documenting.

The photos begin to reveal more. And my documentary film project comes better into focus.

And the sadness grows deeper.

I have been in this place before, telling the stories of people denied freedom and held captive, and I know that this work is a marathon.

But here the force is built into the system. Built into the status quo. Ingrained into culture. Baked into ‘this is the way we have always done things.’

Here the fraud exists, but the facade seems agreed to by everyone.

Here the coercion is a scholarship, a way out if folks sacrifice their bodies and possibly their minds.

Some folks don’t want to see the world for how it really is because they will have to come to terms with their role and complicity in our culture. Some people refuse to really see because then they will have to set down feeling superior to others. Some hold on tightly to what they were taught and it is tightly wrapped up in that word ‘culture.’

I hear thunder in the night, off in the distance.

And I see that storm heading toward our country as a whole.

The question is will we emerge into the daylight and build something better together or will we continue to huddle in our rooms, scared of the lightning and the storm.

How would you feel if your sons were in ANY of these images today?

How might that impact your actions, thoughts or feelings?

Some of the men in these images are my students. Many of our students on campus are experiencing these and a myriad of other feelings during the pandemic and calls for justice in our country.

Who do you identify with in these photographs? Where would you be standing if you were there on Friday morning? That might be a place to start thinking about these issues.

I spoke recently with a veteran in our community, and even though we could not agree on everything, we could hear where each other were coming from. He could hear my concerns and my position and I could hear his fears and what he wanted for our community. That was a start.

I offered him an invitation to help us move forward and he politely declined.

I would invite you to be part of the process.

I would invite you to be part of the solution. If you don’t know where to start participating in our democracy, contact me and I can help point you in the right direction. Whatever your path, I would hope that is working for justice for all.

I am not saying that I have any of the solutions but I KNOW that the status quo is tearing us apart. Right now.

I know that the lack of empathy, the hardening of hearts, the unwillingness to listen and really hear each other will only continue to keep our house divided.

I know where I stand. I know what I will continue to do.

Hold fast to that which is good.

Be kind.

Do not return anger.

Love your neighbor.

Expand your concept of neighbor.

Repeat.

(Thanks coach.)